Death Comes for Seth

Seth Sethman, world-famous motivational speaker looked in horror at the bony figure standing with a foot on his antique desk. The scent of brimstone fought valiantly against incense and lavishly-applied body spray. Death hefted a spear inscribed with the word “Finis”.

“Your time has come, Seth.” Its voice held neither fear nor favor.

“H–how? I’m hella healthy! I eat clean! I Crossf–”

“SILENCE! You summoned me!” Seth shrugged and Death continued.. “Last week you said, ‘If my book isn’t finished in a week I’ll literally die’.”

“And?”

Death’s shoulders sagged as if it had sighed. “Is your book finished?”

“Well, no.”

“There you go.” Death aimed the barbed tip of the spear at Seth’s heart.

“Whoa!” Seth held up a protesting hand. “I was speaking figuratively!”

“No”, Death said. “You weren’t.”

“My book will be great! It’s called Who’s Awesome? You’re Awesome: Oh Yes You Are. You’re Totally Awesome! It’s going to change the world! And I only need another week.”

Death raised a nonexistent eyebrow. “Or you’ll literally die?”

“Yeah. I’m telling you, man. The world needs this book. Come on. Be cool, bruh.”

Death stopped and shuddered. “Did you…did you call me bruh?”

“Yeah, bruh! We’re all related in the world! Brothers and sisters! All seeking our passionate awesome! That’s what my book is about! And the speaking tour afterwards! And all the blog posts! And the YouTube channel!”

“ENOUGH”, Death shouted loud enough to rattle the entire office suite that once had been an abandoned warehouse.

Seth slumped back into his leather chair. “Okay, bruh. But can I ask just one more question?”

Death paused. Considered. “Very well.”

“What does that word mean on your spear? Finis.”

“It means ‘the end’.”

“Literally?”

A sharp light shone in his empty eye sockets. “Literally”.

The spear thrust forward.

---

Yeah, I hear you. I’m supposed to limit myself to 100 words for the Phantom Sway challenge. This week, though, I was jonesing to write something a little different and funny. And since I didn’t write a story either of the last two weeks, I figured I’d bring those words forward to this week and use them. So, instead of three 100-word stories I wrote one 300-word story.

I’ll get back on the straight and narrow next week.

In other news, I’ve been battling some minor but persistent health problems that have been slowing me down. No need to fret or anything, but they’ve put a dent in my creative thinking. Also, I turned a milestone age last week, which weighed on me a bit. All is well, even if I haven’t been writing as much as I want.

That should change very soon. I have stories that need the heck out of my head!