Item 1: Back in the days of The Delivery, I invented a sidekick named Socky the Sock Puppet, Unofficial Spokespuppet of the White House. Hey, a sock puppet couldn’t do a worse job than guys like Jay Carney and whoever that other guys was. You know, the guy with the glasses who laughed nervously and sweated a lot. Him. Originally, Socky was just a funny voice and my flapping my bare hand at a webcam (why I did that, I have no idea. In my head, there was a real puppet there. On camera? Just a nutty podcaster talking to his hand). later on, a very lovely friend gave him sock form.

Item 2: Later on, I backed a game on Kickstarter called Machine of Death, created by David Malki, who is wickedly funny. After the game hit the market, Malki asked for people to send in photos of themselves with the game, which would make them eligible for a valuable and unique prize. I like valuable and unique prizes, so I whipped out my immense imagination and my sock puppet. Behold!

Item 3: PROFIT!

Yes, indeed, that is Socky the Sock Puppet, immortalized on his very own Machine of Death card. Not only does he have a last name now, but his role as Press Secretary is confirmed!

What’s cool about this, aside from the original David Malki card, is that he had no hint about Socky’s history. He just dropped the press conference thing in there unbidden, thus confirming Socky’s role as Spokespuppet for Horrible Events