“Fixing the Christmas Lights. BRB.”

Fixing the Christmas Lights. BRB.

Christmas Lights House (Mariamichelle Pixabay).jpg

12-9-2019, 1:55 PM
Let it be known that I have actually hung Christmas lights at Mom’s. There will be a ritual checking of the bulbs around dusk this evening, of course, but overall I’d say things look pretty decent.

UPDATE: Already checked a couple of things. It’s either the primary extension cord leading into the thing or something with or near the plug of the first string.

——
12-10-2019, 10:54 AM
I have diagnosed the Christmas lights issue. I will put a solution in place over lunch for evaluation this evening. Then we’ll see what adjustments may or may not be needed.

Translated into Okie: I think I got ‘er figured. Gonna try somethin’ later and see what happens.

——
12-10-2019, 1:10 PM
I didn’t have ‘er figured. Some of the lights work, but a few of the lights don’t and five or six of the lights are actually *brighter* than the ones that do work. Fixing the Christmas lights. BRB.

UPDATE: Ten. I counted them. Going to have to check all the bulbs now. And then I’m definitely going to have to try a more aggressive solution with the thing. But first, a beer.

At least the problem with the thing is solved. Didn’t *that* almost cost me an arm and a leg.

…crap. Better go check that.

UPDATE: Double crap.

UPDATE 2: Look, I’ll say this gently. The problem with the Thing is definitely not solved. Waste of a perfectly good lamb shank. If you’re in the SW OKC area, probably stay home after dark for the next couple of days. If you have to go out, go in groups of no less than three and don’t act like prey.

——
12-20-2019, 10:10 AM
Sorry for the posting silence. Had to move kind of fast and didn’t have internet. Or phone. Or, for a little while there, reality. You probably read about certain events about a certain OK city in the news. Believe most of it. Especially the stuff you don’t think you should believe. Kinda surprised FB isn’t hiding my post. Hooray algorithms? Or maybe FB is in on certain things? Explains Zuck’s appearance. I better ask Mom if he’s related. Maybe another cousin. Anyhow, I’m back. Lights work. Sorry about the tentacles.

——
12-25-2019, 7:00 AM
OMG! Santa is *not* supposed to look like that. Or take captives. Or be squamous. Oh, stop whining and look the word up! Geez. What are we teaching people these days? You know what we’re *not* teaching people? How to write a credible banishing ritual! You go through all the best eldritch schooling, commit yourself to a real craft, and you can’t be bothered to inscribe a basic incantation in a legible form on a medium that can withstand a little intraplanar travel? “N’gai, n’gha’ghaa, bugg-shoggog” my left buttcheek! It’s “beghl-shoggog” you addlepated Innsmouth noob! Learn your freaking conjugations in the Lengxicon!

For those of you who haven’t been following this little saga, let me give you the tl;dr. Tried to light the Christmas lights at Mom’s house. Bad instructions. Opened the wrong portal. Closed it, but Wrong Santa got out. Tentacles. Ho Ho Horror. It’s fixed now.

Merry Christmas.

——
12-31-2019, 11:50 PM
Happy New Year. Try not to look directly at the fireworks this year. Please.

Stupid translation errors.


A couple days ago, a friend of mine posted three status updates on Facebook about going home and getting his Mom’s Christmas lights working. They got me thinking about how things might go horribly wrong, pretty much literally, and this story happened. I think you’ll enjoy it. Thank you to my friend who granted me permission to use his words and was pleased to be unnamed. But he’s a good man and I’m glad for his friendship and, today, his unwitting creative inspiration.

(Photo Credit: Mariamichelle on Pixabay)

One thought on ““Fixing the Christmas Lights. BRB.”

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